Photo by Estúdio Bloom on Unsplash
Seeing things in a fairly black-and-white way can cause problems, yet this is not a post about trying to be more open-minded. Whether it’s personality type, my autism, or something else, it doesn’t really matter. I’ve come to accept that it’s often not possible for me to see things in anything other than a fairly black-and-white way.
I could espouse the benefits of neurodiversity and individual strengths, and I’ve done so elsewhere. Still, I’d like to focus on how a narrow view of the world can be problematic. In the absence of a strong sense of personal identity, the consequence of seeing things in a fairly black-and-white way can also be detrimental to a person’s self-esteem. I’ll use a recent situation to elaborate.
I was hired to gather some ‘data requirements’ for a new system build. Having seen many similar builds before, I had a pretty good idea of what was required from the outset. The problem was I would have described the work differently. Gather the ‘business requirements’ first and the ‘data requirements’ second, as the latter usually derives from the former.
There wasn’t even someone on the team telling me what to do, however I became increasingly uncomfortable over the following weeks. I think it was repeatedly hearing an approach that didn’t make sense and having to remind myself each time that I needed to do business requirements first. Eventually, I started becoming confused — perhaps they really did want ‘data requirements’, and maybe I didn’t know how to do that. Even though every thread of my professional training told me what was required and how to do it.
Before the whole situation became a big mess, I realised I needed a new remit, agreed and written down. If for no other reason than my own mental sanity. In what felt like going out on a limb, I eventually explained I couldn’t do what was asked, but I could get there another way, or we could plan for my departure. An amenable conversation with an amenable client who seemed a bit bewildered I was nitpicking over irrelevant details, although equally happy I was taking the work so seriously.
With a new remit agreed, I commenced working in the only way I knew how, having agreed an outcome they always wanted. The unsettling thing about the whole experience was not the amenability of this particular client (thank you, if you are reading). It’s all the other situations where my nitpicking over details was not well received nor welcomed, and on several occasions, these were quite hostile and aggressive encounters.
For many people, this kind of nitpicking is wholly unnecessary to simply getting on with the work at hand. Unfortunately for me, I can’t seem to ignore the inaccuracy of the ask, yet correcting it brings the risk of confrontation. I’d love just to be able to gloss over things like this, but something fundamental prevents me from doing so.