Have you ever woken up tired and counted the hours until bedtime, knowing itโll be a hard slog until then?
Thatโs how itโs been for me lately.
Itโs strange though. Iโm on holiday, nothing to worry about, meant to be having a nice time. And I am.
Except it all feels just a bit heavy. Nothing badโs happened. No fallings out. No upsets. But it feels like a light fog has descended over everything.
Weโre on a farm. Feeding the donkeys should be nice. But Iโm thinking about animals in cages destined for the slaughterhouse. Farms closing and the loss of traditional livelihoods too.
We visit an animal sanctuary. Itโs great they are giving so many ex-circus animals a better home. But thoughts of the not so lucky animals are ruining the experience.
A loud South African chap is talking about Trump and Epstein as we try to watch the lemurs jump about playfully.
I might want to unexpectedly grab him by the collar and shout in his face. But the fog seems to have dampened that urge. Instead, I shrug and walk on.
Weโre only a few days into the holiday after a hellish few months.
Perhaps feeling a bit out of sorts is to be expected when you finally stop having anything specific to focus on. Perhaps thatโs why we collectively work, a mild anaesthetic of sorts. Keeping us busy enough not to think about why weโre doing it.
I donโt know. But Iโm going to wait it out for a few more days to see what happens. Hopefully itโs nothing more than a temporary slump.
Otherwise Iโm in trouble.