I think it’s helpful to know your place in the world, and I say this feeling like I haven’t really been able to grasp mine. At least not in any kind of relatively balanced and stable way.
I’m not talking about knowing who you are, what you stand for, or what you enjoy. Those are aspects of self knowledge or personality preferences. ‘Know thyself’ as Socrates said.
Plenty of introspection has occurred over the years. God knows the hours meditating or reading various religious texts or self-help books (did they really help?)
Rather, I’m referring to how much you attempt to ‘participate in changing the world around you’.
How much do you expect things to be a certain way or people to behave a certain way? How much do you expect to get your own way?
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to see myself as having a fairly fixed view on the things and people around me. This is despite seeing myself as fairly accepting and easy going.
But most worryingly, my expectations seem to extend globally, as if I know what’s best for all people and all animals, in all counties. Like, WTF.
I have no idea where this ‘god like’ complex came from, or how long it’s been hiding in plain sight, but it’s not particular helpful and I often suffer because of it.
I would feel more at ease if I could relax my mental grip on the world around me, letting things be as they are. Not feeling like I need to step in, have a voice, point out wrongdoings, telling others what to do.
But then I would need to wholeheartedly accept that I’m not in control, and I might not like what happens. That’s a scary prospect too.